Delaney Paige

Things Making Me Happy This Week 003

Being almost finished "Making a Murderer". I'm not actually a huge fan. I find the episodes drag a bit, and I just get SO ANGRY every episode! 

Working on my Project Life album for the first time in ages. I'm trying to finish off my 2015 album and I'm seriously considering whether I'll continue with my album in 2016.

Getting another post published on the Huffington Post!

Going for Sushi and Mexican food last weekend. My favourite part of meal planning might be leaving gaps for finding new restaurants.

Picking up two bouquets of flowers from the farmer's market last Saturday morning. Even though they didn't make it through the week, they brightened the house for days.

Going for a walk with Shane and Gracie this morning before the weather got too hot.

Catching up with a childhood friend (via email, of course - he's on the other side of the planet).

Being contacted about a really exciting writing opportunity. Hopefully I'll be able to share more soon!

Have a lovely weekend, friends! xo

2016 Goals

I love the feeling of a new year. To me, there's nothing like a clean slate, a chance to start over. My goals this year are less comprehensive than last year, which is a good thing! I've tried to pick goals that are easy to integrate into my life but will yield high levels of physical and emotional wellness. 

1. No buying new books until I read all of the ones I've bought and never read

After my success reading over 52 books last year, I wanted to have another reading goal this year, but I wanted it to be something a little bit different. The shape of this goal was inspired by a post on my friend Gen's academic blog about a Japanese word called Tsundoku, or "the constant act of buying books but never reading them”. Guys - this word describes me perfectly. I am a tsundoku-er! I have a book buying compulsion, and can't read them as quickly as I buy them. For this reason, I have an bookshelf full of booked I've never read, including 23 kg's worth of never-been-read books that I brought back from Canada when I was home earlier in the year.

This doesn't mean I'm limiting myself to reading only the books I own. I'll still visit the library regularly, and have no reservations about borrowing from friends or even receiving books as gifts (haha!), but I won't actively add to my collection until it is fully read. I also won't make myself finish reading a books I own if I'm not enjoying it - the biggest lesson I learned reading so many books last year is that there's no point in suffering througha a book you're not enjoying. 

2. Two technology free evenings per week

I spend waste so much time watching TV and mindlessly scrolling through apps like Facebook and Instagram on my phone, often at the same time. I normally chalk this up to "having nothing better to do", but I realised the other day how crazy that sounds. I have a house filled with things I've accumulated for amusement's sake. We have so many books (see above!), board games, jigsaw puzzles, colouring books, bicycles, sewing projects, writing projects, scrapbooking projects,  so many projects! 

At first I was going to pick two specific days to be the technology free days, but I realised that getting too prescriptive was probably not the best recipe for success. I also don't know how fussy I'll be about the "technology" aspect... if I'm sewing, does it count as technology to access Spotify on my phone for some background music? Probably, but I'm more likely to enjoy the technology free time with music playing, so I'd probably say that's ok. There will definitely be a bit of trial an error here, but I think aiming for any reduction in screen time is going to be a step in the right direction.

3. Twenty minutes of physical activity a day

If you read about my 2015 goals, you'll know that I didn't even come close to reaching 5000 steps per day, which is half of the recommended daily amount. I've always been blessed with a fast metabolism and so I've never been too concerned with ensuring physical activity is a part of my daily routine. As I approach 30, I am noticing changes in my body, both from the inside and outside. I feel slugglish and stiff, and I don't want to get to some point-of-no-return where the thought of starting an exercise routine is too daunting. To me, the exercise is all about feeling good - of course, a bit of toning wouldn't go astray, but overall I am just focussed on getting my body moving to help me feel better.

Again, I don't want to be too prescriptive, so I'm aiming for any kind of activity: a walk, a yoga video, a swim, skipping, jogging. I'm not even going to go so far as to say I need to break a sweat. At this stage, all I'm interetsed in is forming a habit of regular movement.

4. Improve at household chores

I am not fantastic at domestic stuff. I hate doing dishes. I am wildly averse to vacuuming. I am rubbish at sticking to the list in the grocery store. In fact, I'm rubbish at going to the grocery store altogether. Shane, on the other hand, is a pretty awesome housemate. He definitely carries the domestic load around here, something I'm determined to change this year.

We've had some open discussions, and think that a cleaning / chores roster and a week meal plan probably works the best for us (me). I need structure and rules to commit to unenjoyable things, and to me, domestic chores are the epitome of unenjoyable things. However, part of being an adult is doing the things you don't enjoy, because if you don't do them, they don't get done! I'm hoping this will lead to  less daily decision making about meals, a cheaper grocery bill, a tidier house, and a happier relationship. 

5. Write

I've wanted to be a writer since I was a little girl, but I am so paralysed by the "how" and the "why" that I'm missing the "do". So this year, I'm going to strive to commit to writing. As often as possible. Here on the blog. For the Huffington Post. In a journal. Anywhere and everywhere I can. Publicly. Privately. Practice makes perfect, and goodness knows I'm far from perfect and can use all of the practice I can get.

Well, that's my formal goals for the year. Like last year, I'll be tracking the daily goals on the Elise Joy goal tracker - I love seeing all of the little dots add up! I'm still hoping to build on some of last year's goals - I have plans to make several quilts this year, and I will still aim to send birthday cards and meditate, but those things all feel like part of my life now. How about you? Are you starting out the year with any goals?

10 Tips for Tackling NaNoWriMo

If you're new to the blog, you may not know that I participated in a ridiculous challenge last November - along with thousands of other aspiring writers, I tried to write 50,000 words in 30 days.  It's called National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) and it's as (intellectually) hardcore as it sounds.

I ended up with half a book and 53,000+ words last November. It remains one of the most challenging and rewarding things I've ever done. 

I had intended to finish that book this November, but I'm starting to think I'd like to try something new this year. Luckily I still have a few months to decide... 

Because today is NaNo Inspired Day, I thought I would share ten tips I wish I'd known before I attempted the challenge last year. This advice might not work for everybody, but if you are a routine-driven, obsessively organised individual like me, the tips below might make your November even a tiny bit easier.

1. Do a test run to see how long your daily target wordcount will take you. I sat down on Day 1 completely unaware of how long it would take me to realistically hit 1,667 words. It would have relieved a lot of my pre-NaNoWriMo anxiety if I'd known I could achieve the daily minimum in an hour.

2. Designate an idea notebook, and take it everywhere. You don't want to lose a brilliant idea just because you've been struck by a lightening bolt of brilliance away from your computer.

3. Be deliberate about integrating writing into your routine. Write at the same time each day, in the same place. I found it much easier to write when I stuck to my routine. While I could achieve my target in one hour if I wrote in the morning, if I tried to write after a long day at work, it would easily take me 2.5 hours to reach the same 1667 word target.

4. Buy a writing candle. Seriously, it works. I bought a new candle before I started the challenge, and had it burning during my planing throughout October. From Day 1 in November,  every time the scent of it hit me, I was ready to write. 

5. Invest in software that will make your life easier. I used Scivener last year and it made staying on track so much easier. I only scratched the surface of the features, but loved how easy it was to jump between chapters and stay on target with my word count.

6. Draft an outline and character sketches before November arrives. I could never sit down and blindly begin to write. I need to know who I'm writing about and where they are headed. Obviously things may change as you begin writing, but I took solace in the fact that I had a general idea of how the story would track from beginning to end.

7. Explain your commitment to the challenge to those you live with. This has a two-fold benefit. For one thing,  they'll be able to encourage you if you are slacking off and falling behind on your word count. It will also (hopefully) mean that they'll respect your need to complete the challenge and give you the time and space required. There is nothing more difficult than constant interruptions when you are writing on a deadline.

8. Don't beat yourself up if you have an off day. I had one day in mid-November where I only hit 1101 words in a day. Then towards the end of November, the day after writing a particularly dark scene in the story, I hit a wall, and after two hours in front of the computer, I had to call it a day at only 623 words. Aim for a few good days at the beginning (which should be easy to do - you'll be full of excitement and stamina) so that you don't end up behind target due to the occasional off day.

9. Reach out to the NaNo community. I found an amazingly supportive community through Instagram last year. For me, the link to other writers is what made this challenge so appealing. 

10. Enjoy the process for what it is. For me, this challenge is not about creating the next great literary masterpiece. It's an exercise in self-dicipline and creativity. When I sit down to write my "real book" someday, I won't have a voice in the back of my head telling me I can't write a book because guess what? I already have! No matter how far you get in the challenge, your accomplishments are worth celebrating!

If you're thinking about participating in NoNoWriMo this year, I'd love to hear from you! Leave a comment below or add me on the NaNo forums (missdelaneypaige) and we'll chat! 

4 Lessons from my Career Story

(This photo has absolutely nothing to do with my career and is just me reading a brunch menu, but was the first picture I came across where I look like I have some information to share!)

I've been wondering for a few weeks what the moral of my career story is. I couldn't come up with one, probably because it feels a bit weird to be looking for the moral when the story isn't over. Instead, let's settle for the lessons that have come out of the story so far.

1. It's ok if it takes you a while to figure it all out. 

I changed my major a ton of times. It was Biology. Then it was Criminal Justice. Then it was Business. Then it was Sociology. At the time, each switch felt like the end of the world. I was haemorrhaging money on student fees and at one stage, I even ended up taking a few semesters off. When I went back to school, I was still trying to pick a major while my high school friends were practically graduating and starting their careers. I was directionless and discouraged. 

However, looking back, the time it took to get my degree just doesn't matter. You spend so much of your life in the work force, so in my opinion, there's no harm in taking a few extra years at the start to figure out which direction you want to go. To me, that is way better than rushing yourself into a career for the sake of getting a degree and first "real job". I felt a lot of pressure during university to just graduate and get out into the world, and at the time, I felt so discouraged that it was taking so long.

However,  I learned a ton in the huge range of entry level courses I took, and I ended up with a degree that is widely applicable, so I'm going to count that as a win. Plus, I don't feel like there's a big gap between my career and that of my friends who graduated from university a few years before me. It all evens out within a couple of years. (And even if it doesn't, who cares?!)

2. There's nothing wrong with working hard to achieve something when the  thought of the end goal brings you joy. 

I want to weep when I think about how exhausting my final years of studying were. I was trying to juggle several part time jobs whilst studying full time. I was also commuting between my small town and Vancouver, which is 1.5 hours away, to see Shane and work one of my jobs. I truthfully don't think I slept for more than 4 consecutive hours my entire last semester. Some of my best sleeps in that period took place when I would put my head down in my cubicle in the library between classes and catch a quick nap. The whole semester was absolutely painfully, but I knew it was a means to an end, and therefore, totally worth it.

It reminds me of Gretchen Rubin's happiness paradox that "happiness doesn't always make you feel happy". A small bit of misery in the short term can pay dividends in the long term. That said, I would strongly consider whether it is worth slogging away at something that is making you miserable just because you think you should, especially if there isn't an end in sight. If my entire university experience had been that painful, I probably wouldn't have made it through, but it was manageable for the last few months.

3. There is nothing wrong with pulling the escape cord and taking some time out if you need it.

You hold the keys to your own happiness. This is so important that it bears repeating: YOU hold the keys to your own happiness. If you need a change, make it happen, because seriously, no one else will (or even should) make it happen for you.

I seemed to happen upon my escapes rather than actively pursuing them, but if someone had told me that it was ok to pause my education, maybe I would have taken time out sooner than I did. For what it's worth, I think you should give yourself permission to run away if that's what you need to do. Not forever, just long enough to get yourself together. 

My biggest escape, when I went to Kenya after a terrible break-up, changed my entire worldview and career path. If I'd been too scared to take the leap, who knows where I'd be today.

4. Sometimes (often!) you may have to work at a job that you think you are over-qualified for.   

I've personally started in positions that I thought were "beneath me", only to realise very quickly that perhaps I didn't know as much as I thought I did. Based on my experience, at the very least, starting in a position lower than you think you deserve gives you a chance to observe and get a sense of an organisation or field so that when an opportunity you want comes along, you are prepared to excel.

Once again, it's a means to an end. Particularly at the start of your career, it's unlikely that you will waltz into a job with a corner office, a personal assistant, and a team of staff under your supervision. These things take time. Pay your dues, work hard, and doors will open for you. 

I loved sharing my story and these lessons with you. What lessons have you learned from your own career journey?

5 Beautiful Moments

 

I was struck by a post a friend shared on Facebook the other day showing five photos of herself that made her feel beautiful. It got me thinking about which five photos I would choose of myself. 

I haven't been feeling very pretty lately. I mean this in a "I'm trying to be honest", not "fishing for complements" kind of way. You know how some days, you feel prettier than others? It's just that those days seem to happen a lot less frequently than they used to. This isn't something that plays heavily on my mind or keeps me up at night - it's more of a casual, passing observation.

I started trolling through my old photos, trying to decide which five photos I felt captured my beauty. As it turns out, I couldn't narrow it beyond 6 photos, and this is why:

 1. This photo was taken in October 2013 on Gracie's first trip to the beach. Even though half my face is outside of the frame, the happiness is so apparent. 

 2. This photo was taken in June 2011 at my university graduation ceremony. As I'm currently outlining in my career story, the path through university was not an easy one for me, and the pride and joy I felt this day was immense. 

 3. This photo was taken in a regional town in Mexico - possibly Oaxaca - in May 2010. I was on the (school) trip of a lifetime, travelling with some of my best friends throughout regional Mexico. Shane and I were in the beginning stages of dating, and our bond truly formed through emails and Skype trips while I was away. Being with someone who gave me the space to live my dreams was a new and surprising gift. I have this big dopey smile plastered on my face in practically every photo from this trip.

 4. When Shane and I moved to London, I found it really hard to make friends. I wasn't used to starting in a country without knowing anyone, and I found the isolation exceptionally tough. I eventually made some amazing, life-long friends, but it wasn't easy. This photo was taking during a rare night out (somewhere in 2011 or 2012), and the joy I felt at having a solid group of girlfriends was huge.

5. This was the first wedding Shane and I attended together. One of his cousins was getting married in Ireland, and we made the trip from London to attend. It would have been around October 2011, and it was the first proper introduction I had to a lot of Shane's extended family. This picture summarises Shane and I perfectly - he makes me laugh every single day.  

6. I have included this bonus picture from a few weeks ago, because it is one of the few pictures taken in the past year in which I truly feel beautiful. There's no wonder why - I'm surrounded by some of my best friends, my sister and her boyfriend, and Shane. I'm in a city that I love, and I'm truly happy.

I felt a bit silly when I started this - what good would looking at old photos be? How very self-indulgent! However, I hoped that in picking these five photos, I could try to draw out a common thread - to pinpoint how to feel more beautiful. In purely physical terms, I think the moral of the story is I should make a greater effort to wear my hair down and put in my contact lenses - clearly I feel prettier when I've done this. 

However, more than anything, this exercise demonstrated that for me, my beauty is most apparent in the moments of true joy. None of these photos are overly staged - the are moments of joy and confidence and laugher. 

Beauty isn't just about how you look on the outside. When I told Shane "I just don't feel that pretty these days", his response was "You look the same as you always did". This just reinforces the fact that beauty is more about how you feel than how you look.

If I haven't been feeling pretty lately, maybe it's because I haven't been feeling as many of these blissful moments. It's so easy to get stuck in the rut of work / eat / errands / sleep to lose sight of the importance of the pursuit of truly blissful moments. 

I would encourage you to try the same exercise - find five photos of yourself that you think are truly beautiful, and explain why.  Where do you find your beauty? This may be something you do privately, although if you are willing to share, please share your post in the comments below and link up on Instagram using the #5beautifulmoments hashtag.

We should all take the time to celebrate the beauty in life, even the beauty that shines from within ourselves.